Just a quick preface note:
I am going to break all kinds of punctuation rules starting with the title. I will capitalize things I feel are the most important not necessarily what grammar calls for and most assuredly not what the modern churchanity cultists call for. I have spent many months and even years and this is only an excerpt of my overall feelings but it gives an insight into my overall thought line. There are several links right after this section of text. You will need to read them AND the links inside of those linked pages to be able to take this post into it full context. This is not a quick exercise so get ready to invest some time.
- Feelings towards “fellow christians”
- Persecution in America
- Churches Tweaking the Lions Tail
- Pastors Challenging the IRS
- How the Gov’t CAN Interfere With NPOs
- Are Churches Ready to be Told How to Operate?
- The Fear Infestation of the Modern Church
- Christian Persecution is Only Just Beginning
- Destroying the Cult of Nice
- *UPDATE* 12/8/2016 How Christians are loosing the culture war by becoming Churchians..from a demons perspective.
I went into my time with my old church with grand illusions of wanting to do good for the cause of Jesus Christ. The first warning sign was the entrenched you are an outsider attitude me and my family received. My first instinct was to turn away but Heather being the eternal optimist convinced me to stay and keep trying. So we did. it turns out this church is pussified in many ways. It is totally woman dominated with the men related to a support rule. In hindsight it always struck me as funny at how folks would bitch about the men not being very active in the church yet they did everything they could to minimize the role of men in true leadership of the church. The real power was(and as far as i know still is) in the morass of committees that run the church which is where the real power is. Finally after several attempts to energize the men which either were meant with inaction or were actively resisted I finally gave up. It was only when I began to begin pushing to restore the Biblical role of men in the church dig various, very damaging incidents take place.
The first was I started hearing rumors around the church that folks were worried about my access to the church’s databases and how I could abuse the data. To have my integrity questioned like that angered me and hurt at the same time. I then made it known that first of all the staff could easily verify when any data had been accessed and it would be seen as what it was..baseless accusations. When the accusations accelerated I found out who was spreading these lies and I then personally confronted the individual and told HER that if I am so untrustworthy she could have my keys and I will walk away from not only IT at the church but the church as well. I also told this person good luck on finding someone who can run a 10k/year operation on literally next to nothing for NOTHING in pay. I told her I did not need this bullshit. If she has someone better in mind here are the keys. She refused to take them and while she never apologized the rumors stopped. This person would later be instrumental in organizing my exit from the church years later.
Next was when a worship band director at the time took issue with me and he cornered me in one of the offices and closed the door and proceeded to threaten me with physical harm and financial ruin. Looking back I could have kicked his ass but I was so shocked at what I had just experienced that all I could do with cower back. This person was very very rich and of decent influence in the church. About 6 months later this person did something that I felt the need to stand up to him in public…right after a church service..in front of the entire congregation. What is humorous is I did not instigate this incident the other party did apparently thinking I would back down. Not this time butthead. This time he did not threaten me like he did the last time but his behavior got him removed from the worship team. he eventually left the church..and years later he sold his business.
The next incident was even more egregious. At this point I do not even know why this occurred but I remember the details of the incident outside the building very well. There was a “gentleman” that for some reason decided to come after me and my family and started making threats. By now I had a well established reputation as a hothead(well deserved looking back…but it is who I am when I am passionate about something. My family is one thing I am VERY passionate about. You can attack me that’s fine but you go after my wife(who was able to take care of herself) or my kids and all bets are off). This person decided to make some threats out in the church parking lot which led to a serious disagreement and eventually led to me becoming so enraged all I could think about was getting my hands on this individual. Only one person stopped me..probably one of maybe three or 4 people I actually respected in that church(the senior pastor at that time)… physically stood in front of me and that is the ONLY reason I was not on top of this individual. Several people saw the incident including one man who at the time was about 6 foot 7 inches tall and nearly 400 hundred pounds. We talked about this years later and I asked him what he would have done had the senior pastor not shown up. He told me that he would have let me,” knock the fucker down at least” before pulling me off of him. Later I had child protective services crawling in my life due to a malicious false complaint of child abuse. Me and Heather successfully fought this off and upon my own investigation I found out the individual who cowardly attacked me was a former promotional pass-over in the school district and I was able to confirm my suspicion of who made the false complaint. It was the same individual who made the threats in the parking lot weeks earlier.
The final straw was when the person who originally questioned my integrity got into conflict of authority with her superior. I heard an disagreement between these two women and finally the superior said she was done and I tuned out. I then heard the superior turn and re-engage with the subordinate. I had enough of this persons crappy attitude and I physically interposed myself in between the two and told her straight up..back off or you won’t like the result. I was firm but never raised my voice but made it clear with my tone that in my eyes this conversation was over..she was in the wrong..and she needed to move on. I knew I had started a shitstorm as every time I had interfered with her plans I got a huge backlash. I settled in for what I knew was going to be a big fight. Keep in mind this person was less than half my size and I made no attempt to dial down what must have been a very intimidating pose. Me and the superior(who also my superior in this wing) were talking and she asked me if I knew the hornets nest I had started up. I basically replied..what else is new? I see something wrong going on..I step in to put a bulwark in place..I get blow back….and everybody moves on after it is discussed and a resolution is in place. We then heard the subordinate talking to the senior pastor castigating us. I then intercepted this explaining to the senior pastor that no deacons have been informed of the incident and that we have not been notified of her disagreement which forced the pastor to refer her to her deacon. Of course that didn’t happen. The churchian aspect took over and the elders jumped right in and without talking to me or the superior and they came down with a judgement. I do not remember what my superior had to do but I was immediately and forever removed from my duties at the security desk. I was beyond angry and hurt. There was no following not only church policy but most importantly the Biblical course for conflict resolution. We never got in a room with the three of us to discuss it. I and the superior offered the other person refused. It comes down the elders demanded that I do two things…I must accept the elders decisions as just, Biblical, and final…and that I apologize for my role in the matter. I decided at that point I could not submit to authority that could not even follow the Bible itself while self-righteously declaring themselves God over the church and that I MUST obey. I left the church after that. There were other minor incidents that took place afterwards that led to other actions being taken by me and I have finally been freed from the churchians grip. Here is a modified version of the final e-mail I sent to the elders spokesperson about thing as they stand. I have removed personal references.
In my final meeting with the elders spokeperson I was told we live in sensitive times. Unfortunately for me that means I am now seen as a physical threat to children apparently by the leadership of the church. Not because of unbilical behavior….not because of the not willing to be held accountable..but now nearly two years later I am being blocked from the security desk due to the sensitive times we live in. In other words the elders are worried that I am perceived as a threat to children based on one sentence uttered more than two years ago.
Here is the issue: If I am such a threat then why is the church so determined to keep me around? If I am such a threat why do I have small children and their parents both inside the church and mostly outside the church asking me if I am refffing again every year? If I was truly a threat I would not be getting my certification to referee middle school and high school game mainly at the request of parents outside the church in the community at large.
I’ll tell you why. It is one word. It is called FEAR. It is as the root of these “sensitive times” we live in. The fear of offense. The fear of perception. The fear of unforgiveness. I could go on and on and on. In a nutshell this locking me out of the children security desk is based on the fear of how I am perceived and by extension how the church would be perceived. Shouldn’t the church be an example of forgiveness and reconciliation? Locking me out of the security desk is the exact opposite.
after he clearly baited me in the front parking lot and was forgiven and after a short time of discipline and reflection is back in the band in a highly visible ministry. The woman whom I interposed myself in front of after our conflict while resigning from the children’s area is still one of the biggest power brokers in the church and is highly visible doing so. She has been forgiven and mostly restored. The band leader who nearly physically assaulted me in front of the entire congregation was offered forgiveness based on discipline. I do not know the specifics but he continued leading worship for a bit before he left. Yet I, a man who mainly works in the background, am locked out due to a pervasive fear of what it may be perceived as.
The Bible addressed fear over and over and over again. If you want me to cite verses reply and I will. It sounds like the Elders are worried me loosing my temper or threatening somebody. I have not publicly lost my temper or raised my voice in the church in more than 3 years. Even when I was conflicting with the subordinate not once did I raise the volume of my voice. Not at any point while this was going on did I raise a hand towards nor raise my voice towards the subordinate or anyone else. Yet because of the fear of how I may be perceived I am locked out.
In closing you wanted to know why I have a fundamental problem with the elders that’s it. I have already laid out my issues with how the initial conflict was handled by the elders. I have been unable to articulate my other issues with the elders until today. I was driving down the road and had this inspiration to articulate my feelings in a more clear way than I could even at the meeting today with two elder spokesmen. I hope this missive helps the elders understand the reason I have a fundamental disagreement with them. In my mind the elders are handling this issues incorrectly by Biblical standards. If something isn’t Biblical no other regulation matters. Please take the time to read this..reflect upon it and pray upon it. I do not want to get a reply full of we are right..throw Bible verses at me..and continue down the same path the elders have been taking. I have been IMMENSELY flexible having discourse let’s not take a step back from what progress has been made. I fully expect for the Elders to disagree with me in many if not all areas. This is just something that came to me during prayer driving down the road…take it or leave it as you see fit.
Now I know you are reading all of this and thinking..on my God what a horrible church. That is not totally accurate. What cemented my decision to leave and request my membership to be terminated and removed from the rolls is when in an attempt to at least reconcile I agreed to one more meeting after Heather’s death. The elders pretty much told me the same thing which led me to say we are done and leave…forever. I then had some member of the congregation reach out to me and ask why I have not been to the church in so long. I explained I have serious issues with the elders which preclude me from attending to which i was told MULTIPLE TIMES,” just ignore them…we usually do anyways”. Talking about a shock. Multiple congregants telling me to ignore the leadership because they do? I had to ask why would I attend a church that thinks so unfavorably of it’s senior leadership that they are routinely ignored? That would explain why the only folks that attend church business meetings are usually the committee members and a few other that are in the good graces of the committees.
The congregation of my old church has stood behind me and my family throughout the years…good and bad. Every time the leadership attacked me members of the congregation would rally around my family and help us. When cps was sent against us they came in and helped us get everything perfectly organized so cps would close the case. When we had serious financial problems they stepped in and helped us fill our oil tank without anything in return. When Heather died the senior pastor and many many congregation members came to my side and helped out in so many ways. Unfortunately I cannot in good faith and sound conscience attend a church with it’s members in closet rebellion to their senior leadership and whose senior leadership continue to hold to the judgement based on fear and lies in terms of removing me. I have finally told the elders I will accept my excommunication from the security desk if the elders will admit they failed to follow the Biblical code for conflict resolution. This will give my spirit peace so I can move forward…but it will still mean I will not step foot inside that church for worship ever again.
I have been searching for why I am so disillusioned with churches these days. It really comes down to what is guiding the church….churchianity or the bible. What is the difference? churchianity is the touchy-feely wimpy, fearful of offense type of Christianity that infests the modern church in so many forms. My former long-term church was always this way but in the past 5 years really began the slide into churchianity. so what am I talking about here? Well the biggest lie is that Jesus was a gentle person and didn’t even do anything violent or offensive. This is a lie that so many churchians believe in and it is EASILY refuted in the Bible itself. Just read the new testament when Jesus talks about the religious leaders of the time back then in context. The translations I am sure also watered the language down a bit but Jesus was calling the Jewish leaders of that time some vile names. For us the names are not shocking but again most people know nothing of history or the culture of the time. I have yet to hear many pastors talk about the Bible in the correct context…yet they wonder why their messages are so hollow. Combine this with the touchy-feely, sjw/lgbtqjeudmdhdy(who knows how many letters will be added?) compatibility fear based let’s not offend anyone “preaching” and we can see why false teachers are so prevalent and/or why so many pastors sermons are ignored. Churchianity also drives churches to do other things as well like:
- Hang onto a government granted tax avoidance scheme which does NOTHING but guarantee the govt’s ability to interfere with their operations
- An overwhelming desire to affiliate with some kind of umbrella organization
- expel those who have a true passion for the Lord’s work
- Hat tip to Vox Day for this one: Subscribing to the cult of nice
I have since been sporadically attending another church that has broken away from the sex scandal ridden sovereign grace movement which gave me hope. I have since heard they want to associate with another movement whose name I cannot remember. The first thing that came to my mind was WHY? Isn’t the bible all you need to guide a church and it’s flock? It has led me to question do I want my family attending a church that their first move after breaking away from a corrupted movement is to immediately associate with another movement? Why not just ride the words of scripture for your guidance? I am not sure how long I am going to attend this church at this point either. It has led me to realize that so many churches are leaning on the wrong things. I was only just now able to articulate my feelings about this second church.
So what am I looking for? A Biblical church. One that is NOT afraid to stand on the Bible as it guidance and accountability with a fully Biblical structure. If this model is followed they will give this world what it is so hungry for. Jesus was not this dovesih, offend no one figure that modern churchians have put forward. This has resulted in Christians becoming the fearful, weak, conflicted, and ineffective ministry we are now. What do we need to do? Let’s reject the cult of nice….the unbiblical view that ANYONE can get into heaven. Honestly when I look at myself am I deserving of paradise? How well have I followed the Lord’s Word and his Son Jesus Christ? I think I have some work to do…and I think many many Christians do to. Where is that leadership going to come from? Is there a truly biblical Church out there? I have for a few years wondered if I am on this thought journey to starting my own Church? Right now I do not know the answer to these questions…but with prayer the Lord will show me the answers to these questions. If he deems me worthy to lead a church…I will do so very reluctantly at first…let’s be honest..:) The Lord may have me be the pillar since I am very very good at being the foundation and working in the background. Right now I do not know what the answer is..but I do know what and where the answer is NOT.