Category Archive:Fathers

What is happening to men these days?  They have been buried/destroyed/maligned by the modern anti-male, militant feminist, SJW culture.  It has led to sad situations,the rise of MGTOW, a subsequent rise is the number of men unwilling to marry or even be in any kind of long term relationship with a woman, sexual misbehavior by women(in the name of “being strong”, and a culture of men’s abuse by women.  Recognize this?  I see it all the time now..and it’s time for it to stop.   This is not accidental…this is a choice or condition brought on by modern parenting.  If folks are truly interested in “social justice” it’s time for the misogyny against men to stop.

This is what modern culture is doing to women, and by extension, men. If you do not want men to checkout on you…do not treat your partner/husband this way. It gets old very quickly. It definitely changed my interactions with just about everyone else from the female gender.  It is infesting my kids and they find out really fast how quickly I will not put up with this nonsense in my house.  Ladies it’s time to throw off modern culture and stop lying to yourself and others with the we do not need a man culture.  Be careful what you wish for…you will get it…and then what?

 

 

 

A young college couple sat down in the dunkin i was in working on various remote projects.  Listening to their interaction was depressing.  The dude was acting like a whipped pulpy and the female he was with was taking great joy in denigrating him and not only insulting him but also using the fbomb towards him.  His response was basically to laugh, cover his face and cower.  It was embarrassing to watch.  the female was taking every opportunity to insult him..however his responses(the cowering and refusing to stand up for himself) also encouraged the bullying by his companion.  the times i looked up her contempt for him was plainly showing on his face but his response was to cower and try to hide in plain site.  I guess this is what modern parenting and the schools have wrought.

 

Can a Christian wife withhold sex as a way to change her husband’s bad behavior?

Can sexual refusal be used by a wife to change her husband’s bad behavior? Does God allow sexual refusal as method for addressing wrong behavior on the part of a husband? Can bad behavior on the part of a husband justify a sexless marriage?

I recently received this very heartfelt comment from a Christian wife named Jenn and you can see how much she is hurting as you read this. I would be willing to bet there are many Christian wives that face a very similar scenario. The emotion runs deep in this story, and I think for some valid reasons.

Jenn’s story

“I agree that a sexless marriage is not God’s plan and that both parties should do everything in their power to maintain their physical union and covenant. However, I do not believe it is appropriate to give a blanket statement that denying sex in a marriage is sin. Sometimes, refusing sex becomes necessary as an effort to PRESERVE THE MARRIAGE when the husband repeatedly shrugs off spiritual leadership in the home, ignores the wife’s emotional needs, treats the wife as a roommate, does NOT consistently do the steps you outlined above (going on dates, upgrading around the house, show any type of affection, etc.) leaves ALL THE PARENTING TO THE WIFE, and then just expects to get laid!

Continuing to engage in intercourse under those circumstances is submitting to sexual abuse, even though there is no force or violence involved. Continuing to engage in intercourse for the wife leaves the door open for bitterness and resentment to fester. NO! The wife does NOT want to live in a sexless marriage, but neither does she want to be devalued and violated, either.
Yes, private communication was sought out to correct these issues… as was counseling that went on for 18 months… communication among godly, loving friends. To make matters worse, this person is an elder and a counselor in the church! Is all this grounds for divorce? Most say no. Does one uproot the children because one spouse is spiritually lazy and hypocritical? Difficult call.

Should the pleading spouse continue to allow the husband to treat her this way? Or should she stand her ground that she needs to be valued and cherished? The sexless part is actually the decision of the husband for refusing to correct his behavior out of pride.
So before you heap on condemnation, perhaps you should spend more time encouraging the husbands (or the wives, for that matter) to deeply investigate WHY there is no interest in sex in the first place.”

My response to Jenn and any other Christian wife who finds herself in this situation

I believe it is possible based on Jenn’s statements that her husband is sinning against her by not “knowing her” as the Bible commands him to do:

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” – I Peter 3:7(KJV)

I wrote a post a while back entitled “10 ways to know your wife” – and these things are a challenge and admonition to all of us as Christian husbands (including myself). Yes we will fail as husbands and we may not do all these things as we should, but we need to get up each and every day and ask ourselves as men – “Am I communicating with my wife as I should? Do I know her concerns? Am I addressing areas where she needs my help?”

God knows that a wife needs her husband to know her on a spiritual, emotional and physical level. This is why he commanded husbands to dwell with their wives “according to knowledge”. A man cannot know his wife as God would have him to without talking to her, and listening to her on a daily basis.

Sometimes we as Christian husbands can become so wrapped up in our careers, hobbies or even our ministries (as this woman’s husband is a church elder and counselor) that we can become neglectful of the needs of our wives and children. This woman’s story should serve as reminder for each of us as believing husbands to make sure we are knowing our wives as God would have us to.

The second thing that Jenn’s husband might be doing is neglecting to honor his wife. This is a duty that God calls Christian husbands to. He does not appear to be honoring her in her role as his helpmeet. I also wrote a post on this subject entitled “12 Ways to Honor you wife” where I go into detail on how a man can honor his wife.

A big part of honoring one’s wife – is to show her that she is valued and to praise her for her work in the home. It is also about making sure that her children are respectful of her. From what I saw in this woman’s sad account – it appears her husband may not be doing any of this. This story should serve as admonishment to all of us as Christian husbands how it makes our wives feel when we don’t know them(talk to them and listen to them) and when we don’t honor them(value them and praise them).

It appears that if this woman’s account is accurate – her Christian husband has been neglecting many of his duties to her (and perhaps his children as well).

Is withholding sex a tool that God allows a wife to use to change her husband’s behavior?

Jenn as well as many other women (Christian and non-Christian alike) believes that withholding sex is valid and justified tool when a husband is neglecting his duties to her and his children. But as sad as these types of stories are – two wrongs never make a right. God does not allow for sex to be withheld as a tool to modify bad behavior, or to encourage right behavior on the part of a spouse (either the husband or the wife).

“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” – I Corinthians 7:3-4

“Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” – Ephesians 5:24 (KJV)

The Scriptures are clear in the area of sex that a wife is to willingly give her body to her husband, she does not have the power to deny him or withhold sex from him. The Bible says she is to submit to her husband in “every thing”, and this includes in the area of sexuality.

The only way sex can be halted or denied in marriage is by mutual agreement to do so for a short time. People talk about consent in regards to sex all the time. Biblically speaking sex is only to occur in marriage. But in the context of marriage, consent is about ceasing from having sex for short period (mutually agreeing to not have sex). Consent is not about ALLOWING sex as sex is a duty and responsibility in marriage – it is a central part of the marriage covenant that you freely give your body to your spouse for the purposes of sex.

I have talked in previous posts about a husband having the right to discipline his wife, to motivate her to repent and change her bad behavior. But a husband is never allowed to use sexual denial to his wife as method of discipline. So for instance, if a man’s wife keeps denying him and then eventually she comes to him for sex – he is not allowed to deny her because she previously denied him.

The Bible tells us we should not repay evil for evil:

“Recompense to no man evil for evil..” – Romans 12:17 (KJV)

A wife in the same way is not allowed to deny or withhold sex from her husband in an effort to reform his bad behavior. When a wife withholds sex from her husband because of his bad behavior in other areas – this is a textbook example repaying evil for evil and God will not bless such actions by a wife.

In fact when we look at sex from the wife’s role, this is just one part of her overall submission to her husband. God does not allow a woman to stop submitting to her husband in any area of her life (including sex) in order to reform his bad behavior – except if he asks her to engage in an immoral or sinful activity.

But doesn’t giving a husband sex when he behaves wrongly encourage bad behavior?

Many women ask this question, and I think Jenn is inferring it by her comments above. The answer is that it is never wrong to do what God has commanded, in fact it is ALWAYS right to do what God has commanded. Short of a husband asking his wife to engage in a sinful activity – she is always to submit to him (including submitting her body to him for sex).

The Bible tells us this:

“Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.” – I Peter 3:9 (KJV)

In God’s view if a woman’s husband is treating her sinfully by neglecting his duties to her, she is to repay this evil behavior by blessing him with her continued submission, even in willingly giving her body to him for sex.

I know what I just said sounds CRAZY from a human perspective. But this is God’s way, not man’s way.

I completely realize that Jenn’s head is probably spinning right now and I truly feel for her situation with her husband. If she does not withhold sex, but blesses her husband with her body – freely and willingly won’t this tell him that everything is ok and she is fine with his neglectful behavior?

No – and here is the reason why. Jenn and any other woman can continue to bring her grievances about his neglect of her and her children. Nothing stops her from doing that. I think it would really make a man’s head spin, that his wife brings her grievance before him in a respectful manner in one hour, and later that evening willingly gives herself to him when he initiates sex with no attitude or hesitation. This can be a powerful tool for change in a husband, when he sees that his wife continues to submit to him, even though she has legitimate grievances with him.

Isn’t this abusive behavior?

Jen said this about submitting her husband sexually under these conditions:

“Continuing to engage in intercourse under those circumstances is submitting to sexual abuse, even though there is no force or violence involved.”

This is not sexual abuse for her husband to have sex with her while neglecting her legitimate needs in other areas.

Her husband’s behavior in other areas may definitely be inconsiderate, neglectful and sinful by Biblical standards. But him asking for sex and her yielding to him for sex(regardless of his failings outside the bedroom) is NOT sexual abuse. I have said this in previous articles and I will say it again here. Christian wives need to be very careful of using terms like “abuser”, “rapist” and “molester” when it comes to their sexual relations with their husbands. Unless a husband actually rapes a woman(has forcible sex with a woman he is not married to), touches a person other than his wife in a sexual manner, or actually physically abuses his wife, his children or others these terms have no place in these kinds of discussions.

Let be clear as I always have to be in these posts. If a husband forces himself sexually upon his wife, Biblically speaking this is not rape but it could be abuse. So in that case it might be legitimate to call the husband an abuser, but it would still not be right from a Biblical perspective to call him a rapist.

But based on this story, there does not seem to be any forcible sex going on.

But won’t allowing sex to continue cause bitterness in the wife?

Jenn said this about bitterness:

“Continuing to engage in intercourse for the wife leaves the door open for bitterness and resentment to fester.”

I think we could safely say, and Jenn would probably concede that bitterness toward her husband has definitely “festered” in her heart. God says this about bitterness:

“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice” – Ephesians 4:31

Someone once said of bitterness, “Bitterness is like talking poison when you are mad at someone for wronging you, and then hoping they will die from it”. I have many men write me with bitterness in their hearts towards their wives over their wife’s sexual denial – some say some very hateful things toward them and I have to remind them that they need to let go of that bitterness, that it is a sin against God, their spouse and really their own bodies (because it hurts you when you are bitter).

This same truth would apply to Jenn and other Christian women that are dealing with husbands who are sinning against them by neglecting their duties.

A wife needs to understand the source of her bitterness towards her husband about sex

“Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; “ – Hebrews 12:14-15(KJV)

If you don’t understand the root of your bitterness as a Christian wife, then you will never be able to remove it. The reason you grow bitter and resentful toward your husband when he initiates sex is this – you believe he did not earn it.

Let me put this another way. It is very easy for us as men to shut our wives out, to stop talking to our wives when they deny us sexually. It is easy for us to grow bitter and think – “She wants me to sit down and talk with her when every time I go to touch her she tells me “not tonight honey”. But our wives do not have to earn the right to talk to us by having sex with us. Talking to our wives, whether we feel like it or not is a duty of every husband.

In the same way as a Christian wife you must realize the truth that your husband does not have to earn sex with you by talking to you(as he should), honoring you(as he should) and doing other nice things for you. He has a right to sex with you because of the vows you made to him and before God.

When you as a Christian wife let this truth really settle in your heart, then you will find that you are no longer bitter at your husband when he goes to have sex with you – even when he is not doing right in other areas.

Does the husband’s behavior warrant divorce?

A husband being “spiritually lazy and hypocritical” is not grounds for Biblical divorce. Now if a man fails to provide for his wife and children and just sits on a couch all day while they lose their home and starve that may be another issue. But nothing I have seen in this story would allow for Biblical divorce.

A wife is not responsible to discipline her husband

A wife is not Biblically responsible (or allowed) to discipline her husband. The husband is spiritually responsible for his wife and his children and as the head of his wife and his home he has the right to attempt to discipline. As I stated in previous posts when it comes to the wife I don’t believe physical discipline is warranted or prescribed by the Scriptures. But other types of non-physical discipline like taking credit cards away, or stopping household upgrades may be used as discipline.

God does not hold a wife responsible for her husband’s wrong behavior, he only holds her responsible for her own behavior.

A situation like this can be extremely frustrating for a Christian wife, and we can see that all throughout Jenn’s post. But she and any other wives facing this type of situation needs to make sure they take a step back and realize they are not their husband’s mother, they are his wife.

What recourse can a wife take in this situation?

I think we can see that scripturally speaking a wife has no right to discipline her husband for sinful behavior and she does not have the right to stop submitting to him in any area, including in the area of sex because of his sinful behavior. To do so amounts to repaying evil for evil – something that is very plainly condemned in the Scriptures.

But a wife can continue to bring her grievances to her husband in a respectful way. She can ask her husband to attend counseling as this woman did.

But what if the husband never changes his ways?

Jenn would most likely respond to my last comment that “I tried counseling with him for 18 months and nothing changed! He says he will change with the counselor but he comes home and nothing changes!”

Is it possible that even if Jenn repents of her bitterness, and submits herself in all ways(including sexually) to her husband that he will still not change his ways and do what God would have him do as a husband? Unfortunately the answer is yes – he may never change his ways.

Also it can help to realize that you are not the only woman or man that faces these issue of being mistreated by their spouse. I often get emails from Christian husbands asking if they can divorce their wives for less than Biblical reasons.

These are some of the things they ask about:

They ask if they can divorce their wives for belittling them and disrespecting them – the Bible says no.

They ask if they can divorce their wives for going against their wishes and disobeying – the Bible says no.

They ask if their wife is giving them sex, but with a bad attitude and she just lies there like a dead fish can they divorce their wives – the Bible says no.

They ask if their wife is too involved in her career and other activities outside the home can they divorce their wife? Unless their wife is sexually denying them or cheating on them they cannot divorce her for being too involved in her career.

The truth is that we live in a sin cursed world and sometimes people do not submit themselves to God and repent. Sometimes our spouses have horrible attitudes, or they are neglectful of our feelings. Sometimes spouses are extremely selfish.

I believe though in these cases where husbands are not doing what God says they should do for their wives – Christian wives can get through this difficulty by depending on the Lord, and recognizing that their submission to their husband, is really them submitting to God.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” – Ephesians 5:22

So perhaps from a human perspective, your husband has done nothing to earn your submission. But would say you don’t owe God your submission? It is God who is commanding you to submit to your husband.

What Jenn and other Christian wives need to do in this situation

Acknowledge your hurt and your feelings of disappointment with your husband, don’t bury it, don’t repress it. Give it to God, Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.(I Peter 5:7)

Pray and ask God to forgive you for any bitterness you are harboring in your heart toward your husband. Pray that God will strengthen you to be able to submit to and please your husband with a right heart and a right attitude. Pray that God will change your husband’s heart and reveal his sin to him so perhaps he will be the husband that God meant him to be.

Pray that God will continually remind you that your submission to your husband is really submission to God himself.  When you submit to your husband it pleases God, especially when he knows it is hard for you to do it because of your husband’s behavior.

All of us need God each day, we can’t live this Christian life in our own strength.

When my eldest was between 2 and 10 there were nearly weekly instances of her saying or doing something that at first were not funny but then turned out to be hilarious.  Tonight..at 9 years old…it was finally time for the youngest to do something that at first was nearly scary…but then once some investigation was completed the truth was very funny.

My youngest comes downstairs after her nightly shower with a severe case of skin peeling.  She was only a little concerned until i noticed both of her arms were covered in peeling flakes.  The concern must have showed on my face because my youngest got real upset really fast.  I then heard that the peeling was covering her whole body.  I began preparations to possibly run to the hospital as I thought she had contracted some horrible disease and my eldest began talking to her sister and then…began chuckling.  That stopped me cold and I asked, “what’s so funny?”  It turns out the youngest thought this was a skin moisturizing bottle:

Needless to say we were all rolling after that.  I will be picking up a bottle of moisturizing lotion tomorrow and the youngest is now back in the shower(with her sister helping her) removing the facial mask…from her entire body….:)

I have been doing a fair amount of commenting on Facebook.  However this post needs more formatting control than what i can do on Facebook easily.

I am not a total MGTOW type but I can see some of their points.  There lies fault on both sides in the current male and anti-male conflict going on.  The death of my wife has forced me to look at myself, about my shortcomings, and examine some of my beliefs but mostly reaffirm beliefs I have always held but laid dormant for decades.

this is an interesting debate: https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2017/09/20/unshakable-belief/

One excerpt I am posting here:

And there is something else here as well – I have nothing to back this up except my gut – but I suspect a subversive ‘fake it til you make it’ dynamic would also come into play here. Long a mantra men new to Game, it think it would also act on women, but less consciously; for I suspect it is hard to fake femininity for any length of time without actually becoming feminine. Just about all women have the true feminine inside them – and faking it would inevitably tap into it. I suspect that once they see the power of their femininity (and make no mistake, femininity and submission ARE female power, in relation to men) many would continue down the road to authenticity. Just like men, many women too have never experienced true femininity.

Since men have checked out..from my generation to the current generation mentioned about, women are beginning to realize(again) that this ultra militant anti-male propaganda has taken their choice of truly mate-worthy men away. How do they find them now? They get em young..like 18 or even younger…when they can be shaped and molded(or so they think) into their vision of “perfect men”. However since women who are now acting with some sense of true feminism…laced with heavy doses of desperation…think they can mold these young boys into their version of men…but they inevitably get outed because young men and boys are braggarts…always have been..and no amount of anti-male ideology is going to change that.  Be careful what you wish for ladies.

The paragraph above is very revealing for the enormous spike in male pedophilia. Because women are screaming various anti-male slogans, using the state to brand men rapists, deadbeats, among other things(even moreso if you are white..and State forbid if you are Christian…and GOD forbid if you aren’t a Churchian)…and using the power of the gov’t to make it financially, mentally, and emotionally uneconomical to bother with women they have gone to things they can find that are “good enough”. What many anti-males do not understand is men do not desire perfection..good enough is just that…good enough. If there are no other options available we will check out and be perfectly fine with “good enough”.  Men will always be on the lookout for something better but it will be evaluated thoroughly, over a long time, and be looked at with abject and open skepticism until it is proven to be better than what is available. That can be years, decades, or even a lifetime in the making.  For some men the thought…or the reality of being alone without a mate leads to the same destructive desperation that has led to the rapid rise in male pedophilia.  Whereas women are emotional, and often mercurial creatures; men are much more logical, long term thinking, and objective. There are exceptions of course…and those exceptions are what make things interesting.(Of course there are those in both genders that are jsut mentally ill in whatever way..this post is about rational folks).

My take on things? Defcon 2 right now. I am on the lookout for future disturbances and doing my best to build up myself to be self-sustaining….if that means having to work two jobs(my business and another job…or taking a full time job long enough to get 100% out of debt and then get back into self-employment) so be it. The more i dig into things the more my radars go off and the more cautious i get in terms of my long term viability. I have two kids to provide for…the gov’t is NOT a viable long term solution(never has been actually)..and so far i have been able to stay off the gov’t welfare teat.  Due to many factors I am only concerned with getting my girls onward in life ready for things to come.  I cannot give them everything but they will have the benefit of my life experiences(which is much more vast than many folks realize).  Conceited?  You can call it that…but i know what i know.  Those few that have taken the time to REALLY get to know me(and there are very very few) know i say this with confidence..not false pride.  Divine intervention will be required for me to deviate from my singular course of action(in terms of relationships with the fairer sex) or most churches for that matter.  I have not lost my faith in Jesus.  To the contrary, it has been immensely strengthened.  My biggest hurts, most vicious attacks, and biggest problems have been from, plotted by, and carried out by Churchians masquerading as Christians.  Real Christians are few and far between.  To the few I actually respect, keep up the good work in your own way.

 

I made a post last year about how the push to put Narcan in the hands of all first responders was going to enable more overdoses.  I am not saying this is the only reason but it is one of the biggest reasons.  The economic circumstances for so many people has not changed…or in many cases has gotten worse.  This has been part of the reason the overdose problem is getting even worse.  Now as of June 1, 2017 anyone can get narcan without a doctor’s prescription.  This also does not include any medical training requirements, only a crash course in symptom recognition and how to administer this powerful drug.  So now this drug is now being carried around by not even first responders but regular civilians.  I can hear the , “what if you had overdosed.  Wouldn’t you want somebody to help?”  My answer?  Not unless you were an EMT or paramedic with proper medical training.

Keep in mind an opioid overdose is rarely spontaneous.  It is a choice to take more and more of the drug..unless you are addicted to the point where you can’t get away from it….”doing it for fun”.  I am not against drug addiction intervention treatment either.  HOwever this push for Narcan everywhere only enables folks to continue to make poor choices.  As with most “feel good” response plans this has disastrous second order effects.  For those who are truly addicted…I am all for this lifesaving substance…as long as it is followed up with appropriate intervention by appropriate medical professionals.  Narcan everywhere however is only going to enable the further explosion of overdosing by those who wish to not be responsible for their own actions.

I think Narcan should be only administered with either an actual prescription or by properly medically trained first responders.  This gives the best balance between getting the drug to those who really need it vs to those who do it because they no longer have to fear the results of poor choices.  I am a big proponent of personal responsibility.  If you make a poor conscious choice…you should suffer the consequences of that choice.  So if an ambulance cannot get to you in time..even if you were hooked by a “friend” or some other reason…i am sorry..too bad.  Yes this means folks are going to die…it also means that those who choose this poor choice of action will suffer the consequences of said poor choices.

I’ll give you a personal example.  I am a type 2 diabetic because of years of poor eating habits and lack of physical activity due to my chosen field of expertise.  I do not expect “diabetic drugs everywhere” like narcan folks are asking for as I am now dealing with my poor choices and having to change my lifestyle.  Obamacare took my insurance away from me so I am out of meds and the physical alone is $700.  The medication is not very expensive.  I am not moaning here about my poor choice…I am living with the consequences of it.  Why do I not have insurance?  I make too much for subsidies(which do nothing to offset the monthly cost) and the costs of coverage right now would cost me more than 1k/month.  That’s more than my mortgage of $755/month.  I literally cannot afford two mortgage payments.  What does that 1k/month get me?  I have a deductible of 10k first of all.  This means i have to spend 10k in medical expenses out of pocket before bronze kick in..which is 60%.  That insurance does not cover the following:

  1.  any out of pocket expense the physician charges.
  2. no coverage for balance billing(which many providers charge)
  3. no coverage for any other fees, co pay, other medical charges, equipment charges that are charged.

Only after 10k in deductibles does the 60% coverage kick in.  All in all I am looking at 21k per year before I get ANY coverage.  That’s more than 45% of my GROSS income(mind you Social Security is considered taxable gross income and counts in these calculations).  As I am self-employed my taxes alone take a majority of the rest.  So I have two choices.  Shut down my business, work for somebody else who may or may not take my family dynamic into account, or reduce my income to a point that I can get all of the gov’t assistance(ebt, medicaid, food stamps.etc etc etc) and basically become a ward of the state.  I do not want to live like the latter and I do not want my kids learning to live like that either.  Right now any job I have been able to find would have any gains in income be immediately offset by the massive increase in daycare costs for my youngest that would be incurred by me taking a job.  One day a solution that is acceptable(either my business will grow to the point this is not an issue or i will be able to find a job with enough extra take home pay that daycare expenses will be manageable) will come up.  Until then I will soldier along with help from friends and family…but most importantly from Jesus Christ himself.

For those who are overdosing because you do not have to suffer the consequences for your poor choices…shame on you.  The folks in this society who live with their choices have zero sympathy for you.  For the ones who have a truly devastating medical condition?  I truly hope you get the help you need before it’s too late.  Right now resources for you are being taken by those who wish to abscond from their personal responsibility.

This is not going to go over well with some close friends of mine but here goes.  There has been a long standing push to get narcan in the hands of every possible first responder as a way to “combat” the scourge of opiate overdose that is running rampant.  When this first started here in Frederick County, Maryland ambulance crews and paramedics have it onboard and I have no problem with them having it as they are properly medically trained.  That quickly became not quick enough as it was then pushed that people are still dying…we need to get them into the hands of the sheriff’s office and any other LEO’s that can “usually respond before the EMT’s do”.  I argued against this for a variety of reasons.

  1.  Leo’s are NOT medically trained.  They are given a crash course in symptom recognition and administration.  There are other protocols yes but the fact of the matter is if they administer narcan and there is an adverse reaction they have just put the life of that person in even more danger.
  2. EMT’s ARE medically trained and even then they have protocols to follow that include consultation with personnel on the scene AND the inbound paramedic before a dose is given.

I also argued against non medical personnel carrying these things for another reason.  It WILL remove the fear of dying from a CHOICE you make to take a powerful drug for non medical reasons.  I am not concerned about the illegality that is another issues separate from this one.  I was told I was wrong, heartless, narrow minded, and called bigoted.   I decided to not fight anymore and let things play out.  Sure enough it took a couple of years but now it has begun.  I shall elaborate.

I was getting maintenance done on my vehicle when I saw somebody I have watched grow up over the years.  He didn’t look as good as he normally did but what set me off was the obvious heavy drug use of his passenger.  My stare must have been noticed because I was then told a story about this person’s long history of drug abuse.  However this person stayed on “the lighter stuff” to stay away from the consequences of the heavy stuff.  As of this day, that pattern had recently changed..  The young person recently went to South Baltimore with some “friends” to get some heroin and have some fun.  Everyone did their doses but the young man went right into OD.  His friends responded by literally dumping out of the vehicle and basically leaving him for dead.  A passerby called 911 and a LEO arrived first and gave him narcan which saved his life.

You may think that’s a good thing…actually it isn’t.  The ensuing conversation revealed the disturbing truth.  The young man intends to go back and do more heroin.  Why?  He now knows(as do many many others) that they can safely OD as long as they are in high visibility areas and the first thing they get is narcan…they get all the benefits of the high and no real other issues.  When asked why would he do this he replied, “with narcan everywhere overdosing isn’t that big a deal”.  When I heard that all I could do is shake my head.  Opioid dependency is the product of two things.  Our bad economy and the lack of fear of death due to OD.  The war on drugs and the “humanitarian” responses are going to cause this epidemic to explode even IF the economy turns around.  May God have mercy on our populations.

Home with dada – time lapse (Original) – YouTube.

Excerpts From Lupe fiasco’s Battle Scars:

Hope the wound heals but it never does

That’s cause you at war with loveYou at war with love, yeah

I saw this last night as i was heading to bed..jimmy fallon had Lupe on and i loved this song.  Sometimes as i think about my life the scars of past events in my life get to be a weighty thing to behold as the biggest scars are those caused by trusted folks are loved ones.  Those scars are often the ugliest, deepest  and most jagged.   I’ve been thinking about this song and my own scars…. it does bring back painful memories including one that’s fresh caused by someone i trusted.  However behind that painful scar is one that has finally been closed..as much as it’s going to be..:)  I’ve forgiven this person but trust me i won’t ever forget..:)

Then just leave thenYou shouldn’t have but you said itAnd I hope you never come backIt shouldn’t have happened but you let itNow you’re down on the ground screaming medicThe only thing that comes is the post-traumatic stresses

Lupe mentions the post-traumatic stresses…man don’t we all carry some?  Some of our own doing..some not..some there’s no way we could be the cause yet we get them anyway.  This song has also opened my eyes in other areas about despair.  What an insidious emotion this is.  I can remember a time when i felt that.  It’s the darkest, sneakiest emotion i can think of…others may disagree though on this point.

These battle scars, don’t look like they’re fading

Don’t look like they’re ever going away

They ain’t ever gonna changeThese battle scars, don’t look like they’re fading

Don’t look like they’re ever going awayThey ain’t ever gonna change

What can you do in this regard?  I like songs that help…or sometimes force me to loo inwards.  the experience may not be pleasant but it is always informative and a learning experience.  i honestly think the Lord put this song into my lap because it’s draw is otherwise inexplicable..:)  I’m not looking to feel hurt..i’m not into self-infliction of discomfort or pain.  there’s so much we oftentimes don’t see due to our own self-imposed disbelief…the Lord has showed me something though very interesting.   Don’t stop trusting just because somebody trusted or is a member of a trusted group.  Be more cautious in your trust but don’t shut all trust down.  Easy to type and difficult to implement properly.  Nobody’s perfect….I’ll make mistakes.  The trick is to not be afraid to make them…. just make sure you have Jesus to guide you..and if you fall He’ll carry you..:)

 

Lupe Fiasco & Guy Sebastian – Battle Scars [Official Music Video] – YouTube.

How narcissistic have we become in this country?  We’ll have the baby as long as it doesn’t have any “defect”?  i work with a down’s individual.  he is one of the most caring individuals you could meet.  His Down’s causes him some problems…which while they infuriate me at times don’t make him any less special in God’s eyes and that’s what i constantly remind myself as.  If you don’t want a “non-perfect’ child…don’t do the knocking boots thing at all.  Nothing gives you the right on this earth to murder your child..especially not this..we’ll keep the child only if perfect…or we’ll make somebody else pay for the costs of the child’s care…this is total and utter crap.

 

Ariel and Deborah Levy are arguing in a Portland, Ore., courtroom that their 4-year-old daughter Kalanit should never have been born.

A jury just awarded the Levys $2.9 million for the “wrongful birth” of Kalanit, who has Down syndrome. According to a story in the Oregonian, the Levys, concerned about the risk of Down due to the mother’s age, sought prenatal testing. They maintain that the lab and doctors at Legacy Health Care’s Center for Maternal-Fetal Medicine in North Portland botched the test. 

They say they would have terminated the pregnancy had they known what a properly conducted test could have told them — their fetus would be born with Down’s. Now, they want $3 million to pay for the lifetime costs of care for their child. 

The very fact that such a case can make it into a courtroom reveals a lot that is wrong with public policy and ethics in America.

via Vitals – Bioethicist: Parents shouldn’t have to sue over ‘wrongful birth’ of child with Down syndrome.

 

 

 

 

I don’t need to add anything..:)

  • A Retrosexual, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.
  • A Retrosexual opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.
  • A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.
  • A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.
  • A Retrosexual doesn’t worry about living to be 90. It’s not how long you live, but how well. If you’re  90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you.
  • A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods).
  • A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he’s 30 years old.
  • A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be.
  • This falls under the “Dealing with IT” portion of The Code.
  • A Retrosexual watches no TV show with “Queer” in the title.
  • A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV.
  • A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women.
  • Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a frou-frou little puss, and in the long run, she ain’t worth it.
  • A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak tree chipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn’t pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.
  • A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.
  • A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie – and ONLY a Windsor knot.
  • A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.
  • A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can’t hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can – or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.
  • A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it’s just plain fun to shoot.
  • Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part.
  • A Retrosexual man’s favorite movie isn’t “Maid in Manhattan” (unless that refers to some foxy French maid sitting in a huge tub of brandy or whiskey), or “Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.” Acceptable ones may include any of the Dirty Harry or Nameless Drifter movies (Clint in his better days), Rambo I or II, the Dirty Dozen, The Godfather trilogy, Scarface, The Road Warrior, The Die Hard series, Caddyshack, Rocky I, II, or III, Full Metal Jacket, any James Bond Movie, Raging Bull, Bullitt, any Bruce Lee movie, Apocalypse Now, Goodfellas, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club, etc.etc.
  • When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, hell, any woman gets on, that Retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted “you punks” look on his face.
  • A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner.
  • A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged in a serious healthy relationship – i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.
  • A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.
  • A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20 mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride on a plow berm.
  • A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants.
  • Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land.
  • A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except officers above 2nd Lt)
  • NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.
  • A Retrosexual man doesn’t need a contract — a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.
  • A Retrosexual man doesn’t immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT.

 

No Krakana: The RetroSexual Code…..

Accidental my behind.  This young man purposefully stepped up and took on this enormous responsibility.  This is what family is all about.  Great job Adrian!  You are an inspiration.

Accidental dad takes care of nephew, niece – US news – Life – msnbc.com.